Parth Nelui ~ Volume III
Pennas Lotéssë ~ May Issue

Dedicated with love and gratitude to Laebeth Elvelethril

Note: The following magic symbol returns you to the top of the scroll: top


The Seeds of Nimloth

A friendship long wrought in Tirion the fair;
both Vanyar and Noldor, in fellowship shared.
Of all beauties in Valinor, the White Tree they loved,
above all the gems and the stars from above.

Yavanna the Queen of the fruits of the Earth,
made for them a tree in likeness and birth
to the mighty Telperion, though lesser in light,
and Galathilion it was called at the peak of its might.

In times thereafter, the Firstborn would sail
to Númenor with gifts: flower, bird, and tale.
And a seedling from that tree they brought to grow
in the courts of the King, where its beauty would show.

But the rule of Ar-Gimilzor left Nimloth to fade,
untended and forgotten, lacking sunlight and shade.
But Tar-Palantir returned with honor and care;
a prophecy he made, for the Kings and their heirs:

When the White Tree has perished
and no seeds may it bear,
the line of Kings shall fall
and with it, our prayers.

But Sauron the Deceiver, in his cunning pressed
that the White Tree be cut, for it symbolized the blessed.
But a great deed was made by Isildur at night,
a fruit he retrieved, to carry on its fair light.

In days that would pass, the fruit again bloomed,
as a descendant of Nimloth, before its planned doom.
In Minas Ithil it flourished as a memory of old,
as a glimpse of Valinor, where all wonders unfold.

~ Ailaya Nydrian


Guilds and Groups

Army Report

       This has been a busy month for the Host of Imladris. It started with the Battle of Amon Sûl, in which Mordor tried to encroach upon Imladris territory. Imladris was victorious, although they paid a terrible cost. Many were wounded, and though a Beer Tent was set up to celebrate the victory, many were too ill or wounded to leave the Healer's Tents.

       After the Tents had been put away, and everyone recovered sufficiently, an Obstacle Course was announced. Members of the Othrim were teamed with members of the Beriadrim, and each team was presented with a series of obstacles. Each team took turns answering questions and tackling the obstacles, and all kept the finish line in mind!

       It was also a month of change, some for the better and some quite sad. The training facilities have been reworked. All training, be it Basic or Othrim, should now take only a month to complete, and each soldier works at his/her own pace. To sign up for training, first go to the Army House to enlist in the Army, then head to the Training Grounds.

       Laivindil, the headmaster of the Imladris Military Academy, announced his resignation, and though he no longer serves as master trainer, he is still involved in the Host, and we all wish him the best. PDCML resigned her commission as Togor for the Bows, and we all will miss her steady hand and confident leadership. Both Ellanan and Anarie were promoted to Arthogor and Togor of the Othrim, respectively. Eliendriel was promoted to Togor of Beriadrim, Bows.

       As always, any are welcome to join the Host, and we look forward to seeing you!



Gwaith i Nestoer

       Gwaith i-Nestoer has been quiet recently, leaving everyone with the question: “What are those Healers up to?” To rid the readers of their misery, I have come to report on the activities going on.

       After much anticipation, the first Nestor Class was opened a few months ago, with eager Aphadrim (apprentices) wishing to become Nestoer (healers) joining the class. This explains why we have Healers with white frocks and a Gwaith i-Nestoer badge strolling about Adab Nestad — they are full-fledged Nestoer. Congratulations to all of them!

       There was also a fight in Amon Sûl last month, and the aid of the Healers was needed. It was rather eventful, what with the Nenestor Isilindil being captured by two Mordorian scouts, the camp almost being ambushed by those pesky scouts again and a handful of patients down with arrow wounds, cuts, bruises and even the Black Breath!

       With the ending of the Nestor Class, the Healers decided to open another Basic Healing Class for those who want to learn the art of healing. Besides that, we are holding a discussion of whether Healers should take oaths swearing not to kill, asking for the opinions of all Healers. The Tanestor has also given a challenge to the Healers of Gwaith, asking them of their experiences of being both a healer and a patient.

       Much more are going inside the House of Healing than you think, but shhh, they're secrets!




To celebrate Edenidhrinn, the Elven New Year, the Govannas in Glirdain hosted a writing competition, open to all kingdoms. We had offerings from Imladris, Gondor, Rohan, Lothlórien and even far-off Valinor. Galen Aranor ran the Lore and Poetry/Prose Competition and our very own Aralirdan, Idril and Senior Bard Eliendriel were among the judges. Finally the winners were decided.

Eragorn ~ 1st place ~ 20 points
Tinindil ~ 2nd place ~ 15 points
Dinledhwen ~ 3rd place ~ 10 points

Celebglin of Lothlórien~ 1st place ~ 20 points
Faelminiel ~ 2nd place ~ 15 points
Menel the Istar ~ 3rd place ~ 10 points
Indis ~ Honorable Mention ~ 5 points

       In our main guild hall, we had several nights of creative critique to aid our writers before turning our attentions to the great heroes of Arda. This is our ongoing project, so we'd love to see you come by and tell us your favorite tale from Arda history. In the Lore Chambers, there are discussions of music and song as well as Master Erestor's various early possibilities. As always our guild offers both critique and showcasing of Poetry/Song, Prose and Lore and everyone, regardless of kingdom, is always welcome.

       Finally, our senior bards are preparing some exciting new activities for members of the Guild, including a revival of our trips to other kingdoms to entertain and delight folk abroad with songs and tales performed by our talented members. Be sure to stop by Govannas in Glirdain over the next few weeks for updates on upcoming events!

~Galen Aranor



       This has not been an easy month for the Library of Imladris. First I must pay tribute to Anorlín (Ruiniel) who was my first co-librarian but sadly resigned her post. Secondly, a heartfelt welcome to Serveanthesia (Servy) my newly-appointed partner; we look foward to working together to get your Library into good shape!

       Many Elves, and others, have continued to send in creative and lore items, and I apologise here — as I have in other places — for the delay in dealing with them. By unfortunate timing, I was very unwell at the exact point that I was the only Librarian, and so we have a backlog. However, the good news is that several wonderful pieces have been added to our shelves, so be sure to stop by and browse!

       Finally I must praise here the voluntary support and hard work of Galen Aranor, who stepped in to help me when I was partnerless and beset with troubles. thank you indeed, Galen, Elf of great nobility.




       From the ashes a fire has been woken! Through the labours of Cumehtar, the smiths of Imladris are once more able to share their skills in the Forge of Imladris. Flames illumine the shadows of the forge and are joined in their merry dance by singing hammers. Here the Eldar may come to trade for weapons or armour, but other things too are crafted as the hammer strikes the metal upon the anvil. Jewels encompassing shimmering light, necklaces of gold and silver, and swords whose blades are not rendered blunt even in the passing of the centuries. Such is the skill of the smiths, learnt by the Smith of the Valar before the time when the Sun and Moon arose, and remembered still in the deep-cloven valley.

       Here was Andúril reforged, and here may history still be made! The Forge of Imladris is open for anyone who wishes to trade for jewellery or blacksmith items, or you may learn the ancient skills of smithcraft as an apprentice. If you already know something of these skills, the equipment of the forge is at your disposal.



Annals of Imladris


       Fourteen elves of the valley gathered recently to play-test a new game called Amarth in-Edhel, or Fortune of the Elves. The morning shone brightly with promise and the players were both curious and eager to play! We were paired into seven teams. Tara (creator of the idea and GM for the game), explained the rules and we began!

       Amarth in-Edhel combines fortune and strategy, but the first thing that catches the eye is the game itself. Even a casual glance betrays hours lovingly spent making each element a piece of art in its own right. For the test run, teams started with five gemstones and a game piece on the Star of Fëanor. The goal is to navigate around the board, gathering or “buying” as many taithath (cards) as possible before the game ends. There are three types of spaces — Elves, Creation or Amarth. Action is determined by the space landed upon. "Elves" squares allow players to trade gemstones for a card within the line — but only if they choose to do so and have enough gemstones! (The cards cost a different number of gems depending on their position on the board, so it isn't always possible to purchase a card.) Plus, with only eight cards within each Elven line, a popular square may run out of cards, effectively ending a player's turn. “Creation” squares allow players to choose a card within that particular category — Cairdh (Crafts), Meigol (Blades), Parvath (Tomes), Miriath (Jewels) — for free, but there are only six cards per category; not so "fortunate" for the seventh person who lands on the space! Finally, in three of the corners are the Amarth squares. Landing here, players must wait while a die is rolled to determine the action, which may be anything from going straight to the Star of Feanor and collecting five more gemstones to moving forward (or backward!) to gaining (or losing) gems.

       Laughter was abundant during the game, which proceeded at a most lively pace and the game was close from start to finish. In the end, Ailaya and Pathael won by just one card! Everyone proclaimed the game to be great fun and a very successful test run. This writer's advice? Keep an eye peeled for Amarth in-Edhel; it's an enjoyable experience — guaranteed!

~ Pathael


obstacle course

       This past month, the Host of Imladris held an Obstacle Course for members of the Army to be able to get to know one another better and engage in some friendly competition. The Second General Lilu was the Obstacle Course Instructor and seven teams were formed of one Beriadrim and one Othrim soldier each. With seven obstacles to pass, the soldiers on each team had to take turns answering trivia questions about different aspects of the Army and working their way through the obstacles. The obstacles ranged from swinging across a muddy pond on ropes to crawling in leaves under a net and had to be completed in one month. With such a challenging competition and wonderful opportunity for the soldiers to mingle, it was impossible to not have fun!

       The standings of the competition at the time this article was written were:
Ally & Eliendriel - 1st Place
Ferallae & Galen - 2nd Place
Avi & Eledelas - 3rd Place
Tas & Ellenan - 4th Place
Mor & Anarie - 5th Place
Eragorn & Cu – 6th Place
Elvi & Caranfanawen – 7th Place

~ Ferallae


Troll  hunt

       As news of a new species of troll, bred by the orcs of Mount Gundaband, had come to Rivendell, Lord Elrond realized that this new troll, even stronger and fouler than normal, was a real danger if Gorthaur were able take control of it. Knowing this, he called a team together to seek out and kill this troll. The team was made up of elves from Rivendell and Lothlórien, men and women from Gondor, some Istari, and a few Healers.

       Setting out one day, they went steadily towards Mount Gundaband to find the troll. As they reached the mountains and prepared to enter the cave where the troll was kept, they encountered some orcs. Fighting them off, they then entered the cave where a battle ensued with other orcs that guarded the troll. Finally, they were able to attack the troll which was eventually taken down by the spear of an elven warrior.

       Afterwards, injuries were taken note of and the injured were helped out of the cave and to a resting spot nearby. Briefly, they were able to stay so the injured could heal, but soon the sound of more orcs reached their ears. The leader, Tinindil, sent the injured on at a hurried pace with the Healers and gathered the rest to take a stand against the orcs.

~ Ferallae


Living Imladris

       Walking around The Valley of Imladris, trying to clear my head, I stumbled upon a beautiful place east of the Last Homely House, a glade called Taur Ael. This place was covered with grass and blossoms and had an ael or pool of mountain water. I was not the only one there, for there were some elves seeking time to relax. I found some of them reading, taking naps, playing music, or even doing battle by means of splashing water at the opposing team. They looked so calm that I just had to stay.

       So I gave in to my curiosity and wondered why they were enjoying themselves so. Was there some power in that place that made them be like that? I sat down and started to think and relax. The answer came to me, there was no power over the land, silly me, it was simply the ambiance of that place; the birds singing, the green grass, and running water and much more combined to ease that sense of great calm.

~ Lai Nénharma



       It seems that the most unlucky of days, Friday the 13th, extended its creepy reach all the way to Imladris. The day did not start normally for any of the elves. From a sudden rain storm that left many soaked, to breaking mirrors and dead rats, everyone had their hands full. The day started so full of promise, with a special breakfast scheduled at the Last Homely House, but not even Lord Elrond and Lord Glorfindel were immune from the misfortune spreading throughout the kingdom.

       All of their guests were alternatively intrigued or aghast at the sight of Glorfindel in a towel and Elrond red-faced from crying. Things pretty much went downhill from there as more tea ended up on the floor and in laps than in the elves’ stomachs. And the normally graceful elves could be seen slipping and falling all over each other. A few tried to take a positive view of the situation and laugh it off, while others were fearful of what might happen next. It did not seem to matter, as none could escape the bad luck that beset Imladris.

~ Eglagaladiel



       “FIRE!” The shouts of an outbreak of flames broke the silence of an Imladris morning. The elves were jolted out of their beds, with the first thoughts that it was a sick April Fools’ joke that had come a month too late. It was only when the formal announcement was made, and Lord Elrond’s pink robes declared in a dangerous situation that they finally realized that situation was truly dire.

       Fire at the Last Homely House was an appalling realisation to the many tourists Rivendell welcomes every day. Reports (and rumours) are now up and about that the annual turnover of a priceless amount of pink silk and cloth (most of which goes into the making of Elrond’s pink robes) might be affected due to the outbreak of this fire. The destruction of the robes would most definitely affect the Elvish economy greatly…

       The elves quickly took sides: Green versus the Reds. Patriotic fervour was in the air, and the concern of friendly nations was also felt in the dousing of the fire using wooden buckets. The Reds, however, continued to stir up trouble, hoping that a new, modern Imladris will be built up in place of the traditional old (and pokey) one.

       The Green Camp a.k.a. The Patriotics: After the chaos of the morning erupted, the Green Camp was put quickly in order. The first thought was to place all the buckets on the back of the animals they owned, but the question of elanor baths and tempers (in other words, the animals began to protest) came into the story. Varda and Eithil quickly took over the Operation Save Rivvy, and with skill, Varda managed to get a rope up to slide pails downwards, only to be foiled by Dillion! The series of events that followed included the release of rainbow chipmunks and the strangling of Dillion! “The situation is fearful,” Pathael reflected, “and a few of own healers are behaving suspiciously.” Fear was in the air. Who can you trust? Who can’t you? After all that, could the rescuers manage to save Rivendell?

       The Red Camp a.k.a. Extreme Makeover: Rivendell: Anyone watching this series of events might think that Arwil was paid to do all that. Of course, the elves do not use money, but her belief that Rivvy deserved a major makeover was important enough to make her release her infamous rainbow chipmunks and declare that Gwaith i-Nestor was NOT healing any burn wounds! Things reached its climax when she finally stumbled upon Elrond’s pink robes, and together with Dillion, destroyed them all! *audible gasp* Will “out with the old and in with the new” be the new Rivvy slogan of the year? Will Rivendell finally manage to get its long-awaited makeover?

       The revelation that someone might have set Rivendell alight was indeed shocking to most present when it was announced. Will the Rescuers finally manage to put out all the flames and be the ultimate heroes of Rivendell? Or will the Makeover team manage to get their way and bring a hipper, cooler Rivendell to the store (or kingdom) near you? The answers are not yet revealed, but meanwhile, watch this space.

~ keleosblack


Fall of Gondolin

Continued from last month’s chronicle of this epic RPG.

       The fall of Gondolin had been great indeed. The group of the survivors of Gondolin had finally reached Gar Ainion, the Place of the Gods, and there Tuor and Idril met again. Along with the House of the Wing, they led the retreat to their house, hurrying the refugees so they might not be discovered by the Enemy. The house, at the south of the city, was upon the entrance to the Secret Way, and when the Gondolindrim got there, their hopes, the same hopes that had pushed them through the night, almost faded away. The house had been sacked and set on fire by the orcs, and lord Tuor feared that their escape tunnel had been found and destroyed: this would have been the end for all of them. But when the man and his folk entered the house, they discovered that the entrance of the tunnel had not been found and it was still untouched. The surviving warriors and lords of the Houses arranged the company of women, children and wounded elves so they could got through the tunnel, and thus the remnants of the Gondolindrim started their dangerous underground journey, lady Idril foremost. The Secret Way was a dark, narrow tunnel that led down into the foundations of Gondolin and out under the walls. When the last warriors to go down blocked the trapdoor, it became even darker.

       For two hours, the refugees walked through the darkness of the secret tunnel, facing unforeseen perils. No orcs nor other creature of the armies of Morgoth, but rocks had been loosened by the tremors of the ground and fell over many unfortunate elves, sending their souls to the Halls of Mandos. Fumes in the air extinguished their torches and lanterns. When they were wondering if they would ever see some light again, they reached the exit and pushed through the bushes that covered it and tasted air again. Outside the tunnel, they were joined by refugees whom Idril had earlier sent through it. There were many joyful reunions as well as many heartbreaks of people who hoped to find the ones they loved. To their dismay, little prince Eärendil was not there. In the distance, they could see the fires that were consuming the city and hear the noise of the towers and houses collapsing. Galdor the Brave counseled the Gondolindrim to move before sunrise. Some warriors refused to follow lord Tuor and spoke of taking the route to Bad Uthwen, Gondolin’s narrow passage through the mountains, convinced that the Enemy had not discovered the ancient way. A group followed him, and they were not seen again. Most of the refugees, however, stayed by the side of Tuor and Idril.

       The company started its arduous walk to the high pass of Cirith Thoronath across the plain of Tumladen. They were guided by Galdor, guarded from behind by Glorfindel and the people of the Golden Flower. Mist sent by Ulmo was covering the plain, a last aid from the Vala. Ahead of them and unbeknownst to his parents, prince Eärendil was making his way across the plain with a group of brave elves who had been assigned to guard him when they were caught by warg-riders. Tuor, from a distance, saw his child in danger and quickly called fifty warriors to assist him on the rescue. The battle was fierce and brief, and in a short time they had cut the mounts from beneath their riders, and were driving against the last few orcs who held their ground savagely or turned to flee death. The return of the little prince brought relief to all the Gondolindrim. Their last hope was not lost.

       Having reached the foothills, many of them were showing signs of weariness and tried to sleep, despite the peril. Some quenched their thirst, and some others ate what they had. The morning was growing and they still had a long path to cover, but some warriors slept or ate not, watching and walking amongst the civilians. It was nearly nightfall when the last tower of Gondolin fell and the refugees started climbing the Echoriath. Galdor and his spearmen led the way, followed by a group of strong women supporting the sick and wounded, then, there was the folk of the Wing with his lord Tuor, Idril, Eärendil and Egalmoth, carrying the more seriously wounded; after them, a large company of women, children and battle-lamed veterans, and finally, at the rear, Glorfindel commanded the bulk of warriors. Snow began to fall as they approached to the Eagle's Cleft and the company thinned out, having to form near straight lines to keep to the ledges. Many elves at that moment remembered the Helcaraxë, the Grinding Ice that was just a name for the younger ones.

       A yell in the night echoed in Thorn Sîr. They had been ambushed! A company of orcs was attacking them at the front and at the rear. The House of the Wing joined the people of lord Galdor at the vanguard, but the warriors in the rear had to stay in their places, because a balrog had appeared. They were trapped. Two different battles and no way to escape. In the nick of time, however, the Eagles of Manwë came to their aid from the high peaks, grasping orcs in their strong claws and flinging them into the black chasm; they had opened a path for the Gondolindrim. But the balrog had reached the civilians, and was attacking the women and children with its fire whip. Great and unforgettable was the battle between lord Glorfindel and that demon of the Enemy, and when they both fell into the abyss, the elflord sacrificing himself to protect his kin, many tears were wept. But then Thorondor the lord of the Eagles rescued Glorfindel's broken body from the abyss and laid him into a cleared space amongst the refugees. Tuor was the first one to walk towards the fallen elflord and he ordered to raise a cairn over Glorfindel, and all hands helped, taking care that no stone fell or rested upon him. The Eagles returned to their nests, and when the cairn of the lord of the Golden Flower was ready, the refugees of Gondolin kept walking. They still had a long path ahead.

       A year had passed, a year of wandering and constant vigilance, and now it was summer again. Bodies and limbs were full of health again, but in their hearts they still had some wounds that needed to be healed: the memories of Gondolin had not left them yet. Nan Tathren, the Land of Willows, was a fair place to dwell and it was perfect for the refugees, who were tired of wandering and wanted a place to start their lives anew. But there were some tasks that had to be fulfilled, as Galdor knew. Turgon had ordered him to go to the Isle of Balar and look for Ereinion Gil-Galad and deliver him the crown of the High-King, and he had not forgotten this. So, he said farewell to Tuor and the people of the Nost e-Galadh and started his own journey in the company of one of the members of the House of the King. The Gondolindrim changed their name to Lothlim, the people of the flower, and they dwelt at the mouth of Sirion, with Tour, Idril and bright Eärendil.

~ Ralkm


Song of Old

part two

(part one last issue)

       He violently tore through the foliage, anger shining brightly in his golden eyes. A thin trickle of blood seeped from the gash on his cheek. Falling to the ground behind a bush that smelled strongly of mint, he dropped his head in his hands wearily. Tears of fear, anger, and hurt flowed freely.

       When he lifted his head again, the sky shone brightly with the light from thousands of stars. Taking in his surroundings more fully, he heard a sound more pure than any horn of Gondor. Moving stealthly, he peered above the bush that concealed his presence. His eyes widened in admiration and wonder as he watched the beautiful elven maid move as freely as the wind.

~ Emyla


Feature Articles

Elven Enquiries
by Rowanna Divine

Next to a quiet pool in Imladris, with the rushing sound of the waterfall behind us, I began my quest to learn as much as I could about the inhabitants of this fine kingdom, or elfdom as it were. First on my list was an elf by the name of Saranna, who I had run into in many areas of Middle-earth.

Rowanna: Please tell us about Saranna.

Saranna: I have done a biography — Saranna was born in Greenwood and is known as the Wanderer because she loves to travel. She once went in search of Cuivienen, but when she returned the shadow had fallen on Mirkwood and so she removed to Imladris. Her parents were slain in Mirkwood battling creatures of evil.

Rowanna: To what other kingdoms have you traveled? Do you have any particular favorites outside of Imladris?

Saranna: I love the Kingdom of the Ents, and would gladly travel there again. I have been to the Grey Havens as I love to look upon the sea.

Rowanna: What kind of relationship do you have with your rulers Lord Elrond and Lord Glorfindel?

Saranna: They have been kind, gentle, strong and supportive in so many ways I can't begin to list them — in RL as well as in Imladris.

Rowanna: If Minas Tirith were to some day invade Imladris, where would your loyalties lie? Assuming with Imladris would you actually be able to fight against the elven queen or would you find another way?

Saranna: Duh?! Erm — I think I'd go on one of my long journeys — Erebor or somewhere!

Rowanna: Let’s talk a little now about the real life Saranna.

Saranna: I was born in Plymouth, Devon, but have spent years incarcerated in London, longing to retire and get back to the sea! I am interested in writing — indeed I'm even just a teensy bit published — and in gardening, cats, Ancient Egypt, mythology, Star Trek and I quite like my husband and children and granddaughter too!

Rowanna: How did you find the Plaza?

Saranna: I found the Plaza when I was looking for quizzes — I think a scout sneaked out from Imladris and shot me with an elf-bolt so I was unable ever to escape again. On the Plaza I am into Lore and writing activities (yawn from many readers of interview) but then I am a serious old thing! And I ain't scared of High Lord Halfir either!!! (Yoo-hoo Halfir!)

Rowanna: And surely we must give some ink-time to your cat.

Saranna: My cat is called Charlie and he is old and toothless — boy he was a bruiser in his youth though!

Rowanna: Please name your favorite character(s) in Tolkien’s works, your favorite individual stories, or your favorite locations, and why.

Saranna: Gandalf, Legolas, the field of Cormallen and Lorien. But especially Rivendell, of course. I just love the elves. And I love the celebrations and praise at Cormallen.

Rowanna: Have you met any Plazaites in real life?

Saranna: Yes, three — in a pub in London — we talked so much I lost my voice and we didn't drink as much as you might suppose!

As I couldn’t imagine an Imladrian drinking that much anyway, and since Saranna seemed a bit hasty to be on her way for an important date (most probably with Lord Halfir, or at least I should start rumors as such) we let this interview be over. I made my way back to Fangorn Forest knowing just a little bit more about this elf, with high hopes to learn even more next month!



Oldie Perspective

       As I approach my third year in Imladris, (Well technically it’s 1006 days and counting) I realize just how much has changed here in Rivvy since I first made my way onto the scene. I look around me, and I see many of the old faces are gone, having been replaced by newbs that sprout up like weeds in a lazy Hobbit's garden. But then you have the rest of us, as we’ve affectionately been termed, the "Oldies". So what do our aged eyes see as regards to our great kingdom? How have things changed since we first were Newbs ourselves?

       I recently sat down with some of my fellow ‘Oldies’ to have this very discussion. I had to ask their opinions on these matters.

       I had prepared a nice spread of munchies, including bunnie wunnies that I had pilfered from a friend of mine in Lórien, along with other Rivvy favorites. I waited patiently for my guests to arrive and so they did, hobbling along as us old timers tend to do.

       I warmly greeted my guests; Our fearless leaders Tara and Lae, along with Lilu and Eithil. I help each of them into a chair and hobble over with my walker to my own seat and began the interview.

       So first of all, I wanted to establish how long we each have been here... Who were the rulers when you first came to the Valley? Turns out that Lae and I both were Newbs when Pip and Andurin were ruling Riv. (That just shows you how long we’ve been here, lol) Pip and Ally were Rulers when Lilu and Tara first came to Imladris. Eithil is the youngest amongst us, as Ally and Elle were ruling the roost when she was a newbie.

       We reminisced about our first memories of the Kingdom, who made us feel welcome. There were parties for Arlo’s anniversary, opening illegal threads, as most Newbies do, random trips to the CofA, and haunting the Newbie Hall trying to get our feet wet. Getting our first Tributes were also something that meant a lot to us.

       Imladris was different back those days. Some words used to describe it were crazy, eyebrowed, fun, daunting, overcrowded, spammy, chatty, friendly and of course, THE word to describe Elves back in those days- FOO-FOO!!

       It has evolved from this into a more Tokieny, mature and elf-like place. What started out as basically a glorified chatroom has been transformed into a re-creation of Tolkien’s fantasy world that we can immerse ourselves in. Nowadays it is agreed that there is more to do in Rivvy, and there are still opportunities for us to express ourselves in our own unique way through RPGs, the Bard’s Guild, and funny threads like the Caption Contest. Gone is the spamfest that clogged up our Kingdom, replaced by intelligent and ME related posts that are more in tune with Tolkien’s description of Imladris.

       In conclusion, everyone had fond memories of our golden youth days here in Rivendell. The memories of that time will stay with us throughout our journeys here in Middle Earth and have helped shape and mold us into the elves we are today. Lessons learned, knowledge gained, friendships earned. The true spirit of Tolkien.

       Well my Depends need changing and it’s past my naptime. To all the Oldies out there, wherever you may be, thanks for the memories!

       To Rivendell, where elves yet dwell,
In Glades beneath the misty fell!

~ Nuladiel Tindomirel


Tidings from Abroad


Fangorn has many activities as of late, though you elves may think us slow folk with little going on since we ents and huorns seem to move with more time than you. You may be surprised at how many things are going on in the forest this month, so I will take you through a few places on our little "tour" of my home.

First, we always have the Lithian River Pulb that we invite everyone to come to. It's one of the busiest places in Fangorn now. Visitors from all over are flocking to the river to meet ents, entwives, and huorns. Also, we have many role plays for everyone to take part in. Another of our activities going on now is the Entish Acting Society's production of the Wizard of Orthanc. All are welcome to come and sit in the audience to see the play that the actors and people backstage have been working on for such a long time. If you are keen to answer riddles, the Tree Twisting Riddles are just for you, and anyone can participate. And finally, I must say that the ents are as eager to meet newcomers to the forest as hobbits are to sit down to a nice seed cake.

I do hope I have convinced you to come and visit the many happenings in Fangorn, for we ents would love to see you. You may be surprised to see just how kind these ents can be, they may even be so generous as to offer you a ride in their branches just in case your neck hurts from looking up so much. We will be very happy to see you in our woods.

~ Tînk


Isengard Spring with the Wizards Greetings Elves! My name is Melia and it is my distinct pleasure to tell you the news from my little kingdom this month. That kingdom is, of course, Isengard. As usual, there has been a fair amount of hustle and bustle throughout the tower in the past few weeks, but in a strange turn of events, there’s also been plenty of activity outside. Why? Because the first ever Istari Art Exposition was being held! Those Maiar that signed up for the competition tested their skills throughout a series of complex challenges, all of which took place outside. Though this contest has been going on for some time, it finally ended this month! The long coveted title of, “Metistar” went to none other than Alator Luinsul. The other wizards that competed also received a rank, according to their performance overall.

But the ending of the Art Exposition is not nearly the largest event that was whispered among some of the less than savory Istar. The largest, and most spoken of, news story has to be the disappearance of Arwe Thereyet, also known as Saruman. A few of my less reputable sources say that a group of flying pigs were actually dispatched to look for her, but after a few false reports we realized that the auspicious Saruman had not run away, but was actually still lurking about the tower. However, he looked an awful lot like Moneta, who in a strange turn of events was found missing; the mystery was finally solved at the end of a few days of panic. Moneta is now occupying the robes of Saruman, and the missing Arwe Thereyet is actually now embodying the spirit of Lórien, everyone’s favourite peeping tom, always looking through the brush, spying at one and all... Anyway, there’s more to Isengard’s news than disappearing and reappearing Maiar!

Also this month, our own Grey Pilgrim turned 3 years old. In very wizardish style, we all put on our best robes and wandered to the party each one of us bringing her some sort of gift she could enjoy. It’s still going on in the tower, if you would like to pop in and leave Geep a gift and well-wishing word or two.

The last thing I must relate to you, and possibly the most interesting, is that Isengard is preparing to host a huge Identity Scavenger Hunt! All you have to do is go and scrawl your name down on the list of victims, and you’ll be included. The general idea is that you are given a partner, and you must complete various challenges to get clues to that person’s identity. It’ll be going on over the next few months and promises to be insane. Well, that’s all from Orthanc this time!

~ Melia



What is up around Khazad-Dûm? Well dwarves lives go on and they mine and eat and drink their merry ale. Some go to The Smoking Chamber run by the ent Munchikinka and the shapes master Haplo and the weeds master Ancalir. The seven clans of the dwarves (Mojaks, Kagams, Mex Uzbans, Yukogs, Burx, Anxikogs, and the Morogs) were all busy this month but they would love to get some new members to make themselves busier and add new blood to the pool.

As you may have noticed, there have been several major changes around Khazad-Dum. The first I will report is the advancing of Queen Dis to the Vala Aule. Queen Dis had been in Khazad-Dum for a long, long time and served as a very good queen for just over a year. Then with some holes that needed filling in Valinor, she was promoted to Aulë. We all congratulate her and wish her the best.

Now, with the leaving of Queen Dis there left a spot open as the King or Queen of Khazad-Dum. It has been reported that both of the queens came up with the same person for the job: the esteemed Delnynalvor. Delny has been a great role model for a lot of young dwarves and been so active in the kingdom for so long that it was bound to happen sometime. This promotion was met by Khazad-Dûm’s dwarves with open arms and he has done an excellent job stepping up to the plate.

Also, Queen Hrive’s queeniversary was Sunday, May 15th and all of the other activites, except for essentials, were closed down for a kingdom wide carnival that is open to all races. Now they are winding down and not much one can join the normal activities will be back on Sunday, May 22nd. It has been a great time even if the whole kingdom has been burned with yellow, leaving one’s eyes to see yellow for days to come.

Here is just a brief report on the happenings of some of Khazad-Dûm’s competitive teams and other activities. Khazad-Dûm’s debate team has been on the rise as an upper echelon team with their 3-1 record with 2 debates still being judged. Their upcoming debate against Minas Tirith has already started and is located in Minas Tirith and then after that Khazad-Dûm will go on the road to face your very own Imladris elves. The Drill Team has not had the luck of the debate team with losses to Rohan and Imladris this month but it has been a learning year for all on the team as new team captains CasjaArkenstone and Drifa got the hang of things.

~ Royal Armenos



The month of May has brought much activity to the Golden Wood. As the weather grows warmer, the elves are venturing forth from their talans to take part in all the month has to offer. The Galadhrim ushered in May with the Garden’s first annual Spring Cookout. Visitors came from all over Middle-earth to enjoy the food and the fellowship. Speaking of a good time, Lórien’s own hub of evening activity, The Hollow, opened up its new art exhibit this month featuring art from many of its own patrons.

There’s more to Lórien after dark than just its pub. May has brought a new attraction to the Golden Wood, the Lórien Laugh Factory. Come let your sides be tickled by funny jokes and amusing stories. Why not take the stage yourself and show us your humorous side? But when it comes to craziness, nothing tops the unusual behavior of the Galadriel Phial this month. Come give it a shake and see what hilarious words and phrases show up for you. It changes slightly every time. What will it say for you?

Looking for something a bit more relaxing this May? The Lend Tri Lothlórien, the Golden Wood’s own walking tour is winding its way toward Cerin Amroth. Come learn about Lórien’s beautiful history and make some new friends in the process. All kingdoms are invited to join in. Not your cup of tea? How about watching a fox race? The Lórien Racing League’s first season is well under way. Come pick your favorite team and cheer them on. Well that‘s about all I have for now. Until next time, Navaer (Farewell).

~ Anayaru


Minas Tirith

The air in Gondor has been one of happiness this month. Over the course of the month, we have celebrated the second anniversary of our king's acension to the throne, sharing memories and stories, playing a commemorative game of Gondorian golf, and participating in a Boar Hunt. We have been truly gifted by the presence of our devoted king, and the festivities are welcome indeed. Those from across Arda are welcome to come and share this special occasion.

The past few weeks have also seen the inception of several new activities in our city. They include the founding of the Scribes' and Sages' Fellowship, which is led by such people as the Royal Sage, Librarian, and Bard, as well as the Poet Laureate, the Head of the Minas Tirith Cultural Committee, and the Royal Scribe of Minas Tirith.

Our king has also recently begun the MonarchCard Championship, a lower bracket league of Pelennor Pigskin for those who might have been a bit indimidated by the upper league. The Shire drill team is in Minas Tirith this month, and Khazad-Dûm is taking on the Argyles in what promises to be a fascinating debate.

It has indeed been a month of happiness! Minas Tirith saw the return of a too-long departed and sorely missed citizen, who was welcomed back with great joy. More fun is sure to come in this following month, as several Pigskin matches are already underway, and the Construction week of Gondorian Cart Racing has begun! Also, all rulers and Valar are welcome to visit the White City and come join the fun in the Royal Playroom, where the rocking horse races are about to begin.

That's the news from Minas Tirith, where all the Rangers are courageous, all the citizens are content, and all the animals are well-treated!

~ Ibiralian


Mordor There are many new things happening in Mordor. With the classic threads doing well, and many new threads gaining popularity quickly, Mordor has become a place of action. Many new members have become active and a vibrant life of youth is seen all over the dark lands. The Witchking Inzilbeth has developed into a very good ruler and is beginning to become the beloved ruler that her predecessor was.

A new game has been launched called the Battle for Middle Earth. In this thread the player starts with a territory and the threadrunner Firefly asks questions about Tolkien’s work. Each correct answer awards the player an army. Then the player declares an attack and Firefly rolls dice deciding the winner. This thread has been extremely popular and is open to all races.

Isil Mornungul was voted as the Minion of the Month in a tight race that saw many worthy Minions recognized for their hard work. She is the assistant for the Thief Hunt, works hard in the Children of the Eye thread, and has made great contribution in the Battle of Amon Sûl. Despite the icon going to the wrong person for a few days, Isil was soon crowned Khamul and opened up her thread called “All Change” which lets people RPG as the complete opposite of their character.

With a large amount of Minions leaving, many jobs have opened up and many new minions have taken these jobs and are ready to prove themselves as reliable threadrunners. But at the same time many jobs have been filled by veterans who are trying to bring Mordor to a level that it has never been before. With strong rulers, veterans continuing to contribute, and newbies coming into there own, Mordor has a bright future ahead of it.



Heyho and welcome to Riddermark Kingdom Report for the month of May. May I first begin by congratulating Hrive of KD on her first year anniversary as ruler: well done and I hope the coming year is just as successful! However, back to Rohan.

Our first piece of news this issue is our SCR reicipiants for as always. Ele and Eléo have found two hard-working Rohirrim for the honour of the SCRs. This month Kaelyn will be gracing the fields of the Mark as Théodred who has returned from the dead for this month. Elarith shall be ruling the place as Lord Erkenbrand himself. Well done to both!

Next up, have you ever wondered what the Rohirrim lookied like as ickle Riders? Ever wondered what they were like a ickle babies? Well Eléo did and as such we held the very first (and probably not the last!) baby photo competition, aptly named “What happened? Rugrats to Riders” where we given nine pics of riders as ickle babies (all of whom looked real cute by the way!) and then nine pictures of riders as they are now and were given the task of matching up each baby photo to his/her adult persona. After a very close and fierce contest the winners were:

1st place: Eile
2nd place: Gem
3rd place: Taethowen

Naturally, tribute was given to the winners and also to those insa— ah, dedicated riders who sent in their piccies.

Finally, there were some changes made to the staffing or the Raedboda. Unfortuntaley, RL had become and increasingly larger obstacle and so, when the April issue was published Eile annonced she would be stepping down to an assistant editor’s position and handing over the reigns of power to Elarith.

~ Eomund Firehelm


The Shire Crazy Days of May
I know in the past that I have tried to report all of the Shire’s comings and goings while inside my wonderful and cozy Hobbit hole. However, this month is Thrimidge, and that can only mean one thing — if I were to stay inside at all today, I would be considered the most reclusive old bat in all of Hobbiton! My best friend Miriath Banba has taken charge of our annual Spring Festival and is my new Shire Players’ theatre director. So currently, I am sneezing like crazy in the middle of Needlehole Meadows Park and trying to help lead the Players’ improv contest here at the festival. This certainly is not the best time for allergies.

This is not the only time I have seen so many people in one place or even surrounded by chaos, even in recent memory. In conjunction with the festival is our long-running Shire’s Springtime Miss Contest, and I was there just the other day watching that prima donna Pedrina Hornblower actually burn her bacon to a crisp for the judges and then walk around in clogs before the Best Groomed Foot Hair Contest in Round Two! What does she ... Ooh, wait. Don’t tell anyone I said that. Pretend you didn’t hear that. It’s not true, I tell you. Hobbits don’t wear shoes. Nor do we gossip. We’ve never pulled pranks on our mayors, such as by wearing swapping name tags all day last Wednesday just so we could try and confuse the dear souls. That’s right.

Then, of course, I can’t go without telling you about the fire that nearly destroyed over half of our Shire market the other day! Once again, I think I heard screaming all day as well as my Hobbit friends and our friendly visitors either scurrying about or trying to put it out, with huge buckets of water. I am not sure where they got them from. I am not sure if my ears have recovered just yet either from all of these goings on.

In fact, I think once this day is over I am heading on over to the Prancing Pony. At least there I won’t get my ears yelled off by its unhappy employees; they’ve quit anyway. Some peace and quiet at last...

~ Istya Alassea



Again, this merry month of May has brought quite a lot of stirring in Valinor; we must sadly report that again, several of the Ainur have left us to go and dwell once more among the common folk (or, in Lórien's case, many common kinds of mushrooms). Aside from Estë, Aulë's wife, Yavanna has gone also. The reason for her departure is shrouded in mists, but anonymous sources claim that she had plastic surgery done and could not live with the result. Recent sightings of her took place near Arwen's Cosmetic Surgery Institute in Rivendell, and not too long ago the maimed body of a female Elf was hauled out of the Bruinen. However, it is not up to me to draw conclusions.

In the bicentennial ‘Valinor Ballroom Competition’, Tulkas and Nessa have claimed the 1st, 2nd and 3rd prizes. Varda and Ulmo came in a close 4th, and Manwë and his inflatable doll ended miserably in fifth place. When the song ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ was played, Nessa was observed to whisper agitatedly with Vairë, and soon after the Lord of the Breath of Arda was hit on the head by a flying frying pan. According to ‘Valorama’, Manwë turned down the flirtations of both lady-Valier in favour of his new television set.

~ Arlo Cúthalion



Lore Matters

Idril Celebrindal

       Her story truly begins in Gondolin, after the Darkening of Valinor, the Flight of the Noldor and her mother’s death and the abandonment of Nevrast. Her aunt, Aredhel had returned from her many years with Eöl at Nan Elmoth, with their son, Maeglin. Her displeased husband soon followed and killed her in an attempt to kill Maeglin. The next day, he was thrown off the precipice of Caragdûr.

       Maeglin remained in Gondolin, being the King’s nephew. But Maeglin was of like mind to his father and would be Gondolin’s downfall.

       After the terrible massacre of Nirnaeth Arnoediad, the Gondolindrim hardly left the precincts of their city. Ulmo sent a warning to King Turgon, through Tuor, that the city’s days were numbered, but it was unheeded. Tuor remained in Gondolin and found love in Idril and seven years after he came to the Hidden Kingdom; they were married at Gar Ainon. In the next spring, their son Eärendil was born.

       Even if Gondolin yet lived in joy, Idril, in her foresight, decided to have a secret escape tunnel built, in case the Doom of Mandos found its way to the Hidden City. By Maeglin’s treachery and Húrin’s desperation, it did. For Húrin, released from captivity, unwittingly led enemy spies too near the mountains encircling Gondolin. Searching the region, they eventually captured Maeglin, who betrayed the city to Morgoth’s dreadful armies. Idril and Tuor gathered as many Gondolindrim as they could and were able to escape. Tuor and Idril, Eärendil and their following settled at the Mouths of Sirion with the refugees of another fallen Elven kingdom, Doriath.

       There, Tuor’s yearning for the Sea grew ever stronger, and so he built the ship Eärrámë, “Sea-Wing”. Idril and Tuor set sail into the West, “and came no more into any tale or song.” ~Quenta Silmarillion



On the trail of the One Ring: Orodruin (Mount Doom) Geography

       Mount Doom was the volcanic mountain in Mordor where the One Ring was made by the Dark Lord, Sauron, in the year 1600, in the mid Second Age. Incidentally, the One Ring was also destroyed here in the year 3010, 29th March, by Frodo Baggins the hobbit, as told in the Red Book of Westmarch.

       Mount Doom stood as an independent mountain, 90 miles north of the Black Gate in Mordor, and about 30 miles west from Sauron’s dark tower of Barad-Dûr, the stronghold of Sauron’s power. It measured about 4500 feet tall, with a base of about 3000 feet. The jagged edges of the central cone measured almost 1500 feet, a third of the mountain itself. It had steep slopes covered with ash and slag emitted from the flames of the mountain, and right at the top was a giant crater where flames, lava and smoke emitted. The core of the mountain was intense heat and undying fire where the One Ring would be created and later, destroyed.

       One important part of the mountain was a road that led from the Dark Tower to the eastern side of Mount Doom, known as Sauron’s Road. It was paved with rubble and ash, and maintain and made by Orcs. This road led directly to the a doorway on the central cone, where a Sammanth Naur, the Chambers of Fire was located. The Crack of Doom, leading to the Fire of Doom in the central core of the mountain, was located inside this chamber.


       Orodruin was also known as Amon Amarth, Mount Doom. Orodruin literally translated into ‘Mountain of Red Flame’, and Amon Amarth means ‘Mountain of Fate’ in Sindarin, but this name is seldom used. Mount Doom is the name more commonly used for the volcano by the Free Races of Middle Earth.

Choosing Orodruin

       Sauron chose Mordor in the second Age as his stronghold because of the presence of Mount Doom, for its fires could be used in his forging of the One Ring. Orodruin was not a natural volcano in any sense. Sauron seemed to be able to control the flames raging in the core of the mountain, and it lay dormant as sauron was away, and rose up when Sauron’s powers grew.

The forging of the One Ring

       The One Ring was forged by Sauron in the Cracks of Doom in the year 1600, Second Age, with the main intention of exerting his control over the rest of the other twenty Rings of Power, made by Celebrimbor and his people under the influence of Sauron.

       “And while he wore the One Ring he could perceive all the things that were done by means of the lesser rings, and he could see and govern the very thoughts of those that wore them.” ~ The Silmarillion

       In order to achieve this, however, Sauron had to pour in part of his fëa, or spirit, into the creation of the Ring. This resulted in an imbalance of power: extremely strong when he put it on, but very vulnerable when he removed it. This was also the cause of his downfall in the Last Alliance, when Isildur cut the finger, together with the Ring, and Sauron was defeated. The Ring was taken from Mordor by Isildur.

       Although it looked as if it was made out of gold, the Ring was created out of a material so strong that it could only be destroyed when cast into the Cracks of Doom, where it was made. It was a powerful item, such that whoever who wore it could control all the nineteen rings of power. However, it did not have any distinguishing features, such as a gem like the elven rings. The only way to identify it for certain was a test of fire that would reveal the inscription in Black Letters:

       Ash nazg durbatulûk,A sh nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thakatulûk, Agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

       One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

The Fall of Orodruin

       The Fall came when the One Ring was finally brought to the Cracks of Doom and unmade. The moment the Ring was dropped into the fires of Doom, the mountain shook and the mountain split, releasing a fury of fire.

       “And then at last over the miles between there came a rumble, rising to a deafening crash and roar; the earth shook, the plain heaved and cracked, and Orodruin reeled. Fire belched from its riven summit. The skies burst into thunder seared with lightning. Down like lashing whips fell a torrent of black rain.”
~The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

       In the process, the Nazgûl were destroyed, burnt in the fires unleashed by the mountain.

       Thanks to: and for the information on Mount Doom and filming locations.

Next destination of the One Ring: The Gladden Fields



Artisans' Corner

How-to... Make Wire Beaded Jewelry

       Summer has come. The lengthy days filled with sunshine are best celebrated in feasting and dancing... and what better way than to dress stylishly in the latest fashion! Why spend hours trading when you could have yourself a unique article ready for showing off in no time!

Part one: Putting the beads on the wire

Step one
      Cut a piece of wire of roughly 4 inches in length. Choose wire according to your own taste. The best is flex wire and these come in both gold and silver plated. Use another piece of wire or any small hammer or stone to make a small loop at the end of the wire. Slide the desired beads onto the wire. Beads should be selected according to the size of the wire used.

Step two
      Hold the wire vertically, with all the beads secure against the first loop. Now form another loop at the other end. Trim the wire where necessary. For a finished look, slide the one loop over the last bead on the wire.

Part two: Making a bracelet or anklet

Step one
      Use five bead strands, as shown in part one, and adjust to size. At the end of the final set, attach a clasp. A clasp can be designed as you wish, and can be purchased or made. To make a simple clasp, bind two strands of wire together to hold the piece of jewelry.

Step two
Bind all the bead strands and clasp together for the desired length. Test against wrist or ankle for size.

Now you can impress everyone this season with the best designer jewelry. These make great gifts too!

~ Aviravëa


Puzzles and Games

Word Search




Mystery Code

With the invention of the Tengwar, elves were able to keep their lore and rich history from the four ages past preserved. This mystery code replaces the characters of Quenya and Sindarin words with numbers for important names, places, battles, and things from the annals of Imladris’s history. So enjoy deciphering a different sort of puzzle this month!

Hints: A=6, I=3, R=22, V=24

222223 17202217202220108
236172022 61711622219

~Istya Alassea



(inspired by Edward Gorey’s Gashleycrumb Tinies)

Previous letters: A ~ B ~ C ~ D ~ E ~ F ~ G ~ H ~ I



The Lay of Imladris

Surprise! There's more water in the old sponge. These are the memoirs of Lord Slosh, formerly Lord Eyebrows: a complete history of Imladris from its pink and glompable beginnings. The Lay of Imladris has been an ongoing feature since the very first issue of the Last Homely Herald.

Previous installments:
Part the First. ~ Part the Second. ~ Part the Third ~ Part the Fourth
Part the Fifth ~ Part the Sixth ~ Part the Seventh ~ Part the Eighth
Part the Ninth ~ Part the Tenth ~ Part the Eleventh ~ Part the Twelfth ~ Part the Thirteenth

Part the Fourteenth

There new times came from mountains cold,
The fulfilled Elves wandered under leaves,
And where the grace of Rulers rolled
Either started wondering
She peered into the minds of Elves
And saw at last her time had come
Into her mind came now two trees
The name of Elrond no more following.

~Arlo Cúthalion            



       Welcome, Welcome to another installment of "Dear Weny." I know I was on hiatus but you see I wanted a raise and so I protested and now…What!? Whaddaya mean I don't get a raise? I never got anything to begin with? Well yeah but…Oh harde har har a raise of nothing is nothing. You’re a regular comedian you are. I ain't doing it then, forget it. Sorry folks, no "Dear Weny" this we… What do you mean, "it's in my contract"? Fine! Fine! I'm calling my lawyer after this. On to the letters:

Dear Weny,

       I am in a terrible fix. My husband cam home and now insists he is someone else and that I should call him "Bumpkins" What do I do? It's really kind of creepy. The children are all frightened. Please help!

Morose in Moria

Dear Morose,

      Whatever you do don't ask him for a raise.


Dear Weny,

       I need major help! I can't decide what to do! I have two suitors vying for my hand in marriage and I don't know how to chose! Help!

Indecisive in Isengarde

Dear Indecisive,

       Don't ask either of them for a raise…*grumble*


Dear Weny,

       I don't know what to do. I work and work in the mines all day and my boss just doesn't appreciate me. He's always yelling at me and whipping me and I can't take it anymore. The benefits are good but the indifference is killing me. What do I do to make him appreciate me?

Unappreciated in Umbar

Dear Unappreciated,

       You're preaching to the choir here, sister! Whatever you do don't ask him for a raise!




Poor Lord Eyebrows, he just doesn’t get the same respect that Lord Pretty Boy does. Oh he’s powerful enough, but just not as pretty, and pretty always wins the day in Imladris, even in the bad section of town.

So the Lord of Imladris snuck back to the other side of the waterfall, taking the stage once again to lament this travesty...

Song: Pretty Boy
(Sung to the tune of Matchmaker, Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof)

Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy make me a face
Make me like you, all satin and lace
Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy look through your book
And send me into the race

Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy I’ll bring the frown
You bring the smile, look like a clown
Bring me the ring for I'm longing to be
The envy of all I see

For Arwen make me a Ranger
For Elwing make me white as a bird
For me, well I prefer danger
And to be so handsome and undeterred

Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy make me a face
Make me like you, all satin and lace
Night after night in the dark I'm alone
So make me a face with some tone

There is more to the song, of course, but by the next verse Lord Elrond was visibly in tears, and his voice was cracking so badly none could understand what he was babbling. It was then the audience started passing a hat to collect enough to send Lord Elrond to the Houses of Healing where he could perhaps buy a face as pretty as Pretty Boy’s...

~Rowanna Divine




  • Guilds and Organizations
    • Army Report: Eliendriel
    • Gwaith i-Nestoer: Arwil
    • Govannas in Glirdain: Galen Aranor
    • Library: Saranna
    • The Forge: Laebeth
  • RPGs and Special Events
    • Amarth in-Edhil: Pathael
    • Taur Ael: Lai Nénharma
    • Army Obstacle Course: Ferallae
    • Fall of Gondolin: Ralkm
    • Troll Hunting: Ferallae
    • Misfortune: Eglagaladiel
    • Fire: keleosblack
  • Feature Articles
    • Interview: Rowanna
    • Oldie Perspective: Nuladiel
  • Tidings From Abroad
    • Fangorn: Tink
    • Khazad-dûm: Royal Armenos
    • Lothlórien: Anayaru
    • Riddermark Eomund Firehelm
    • Minas Tirith: Ibiralian
    • Mordor: Maninzil
    • The Shire: Istya Alassea
    • The White Council: Melia
    • Valinor: Arlo Cúthalion
  • Songs and Stories
    • Song of Old: Emyla
    • Seeds of Nimloth Ailaya Nydrian
  • Crafts, Lore, and Language
    • Lore Matters: Eragorn
    • Geography: keleosblack
    • Artisans’ Corner: Aviravëa
  • Puzzle and Games
    • Word Search: keleosblack
    • Cryptogram: Istya Alassea
      • answers: Undomiel, Vilya, Eldarion...that's enough hints!
  • Humor
    • Lay of Imladris: Arlo Cúthalion
    • Dear Weny: Weny
    • KD Tinies: Tinw
    • Karningul: Rowanna
  • Artwork
    • Titles and background: Tinw
    • Ink sketches: Tinw
    • Kingdom stamps: Silarvalla


  • Back Issues: MarchAprilMayJuneJulyAugustSeptemberOctoberNovemberDecember Double IssueFebruaryMarchApril

  • With gratitude to each and every one of our contributors, for all your efforts to record and bring to life the magic of Imladris and of the plaza. Fond memories, fun times, a great paper: we are so proud and honored to be able to put the Herald together thanks to you!
    • ~Tinw and Silmarwen, co-editors